There will be light

A journey of true freedom

In my last blog post I shared my journey of freeing myself from the need of food to survive. In the middle of this process we started to see the abundance of food that surrounds us everywhere. Bushes full of berries, trees full of fruits and nuts. Hundreds of golden kaki’s grow on the tree in our front garden, providing more fruits than the mouths of our small village can eat. The abundance that Mother nature provides us is bigger than I ever realised before. 

Such a beautiful contradiction,
that abundance becomes visible when the need fades away

The basic need for food carries many deep collective fears. Fears that come up, take control over my mind and bring my body sometimes in a state of stress. While my inner knowing guides me to feel through the fear, face it, heal it and release it. It feels like I take my own fear on my lap, hold it like a little child, comfort it, love it. See the belief that lies under the fear, listen to it and invite it to see different points of view, to experience something new. This is how with every wave of fear I release myself layer by layer, with every wave I gain more trust and surrender deeper in life. With every wave I feel how the releasing of a dense energy makes space for clean life energy to stream. After every wave I feel more alive. 

This journey makes me realise that every step I take, I take to create more freedom. While embracing my inner processes I feel how the freedom I create inside reflects my freedom outside. I feel the importance of my inner work to create more freedom for myself, for my surroundings and for the generations to come. 

Sometimes I don't know in advance where a step will bring me. I just feel a strong push from inside that makes me take that step. Like someone stands behind you and gives a push on your back, and to keep on standing you have to take a step forward. That's how my inner guidance feels sometimes. It tells me to go somewhere, to do something or meet someone. Without any rational reason. 

By not listening to my intuition, I learned through trial and error to listen to it. First I became more conscious about the pushes in my back or the knots in my stomach but kept on reacting from my rational mind and every time things turned out badly. So I started to follow those signs, stepping in the unknown, to see what would happen. Time after time I experienced that those signs were telling something my mind could not grasp yet. It was guiding me in the right direction every single time. Bringing me to places, to situations and meetings my mind could never have imagined. 
 

Like my intuition can look into the future, 
While my rational mind can only make decisions based on the past

I learned to trust this inner guidance, and experienced the synchronicities and magic that lies within. It helped me to break out of my comfort zone, to trust in myself, trust in life. I started to feel more alive, more open, more free. It’s as if the life energy can stream through me more freely now and my rational mind is supporting me instead of leading my life.

Out of the spinning wheel 

Looking back to the life I lived years ago, I see the image of a hamster running in a wheel. Putting all of his energy in moving the wheel, but the wheel doesn't go anywhere, it only spins in circles. Seeing this image I truly understand the term ´Rat Race´, and understand that many of us are still trapped within that spinning wheel. And to be honest, it is not that easy to step out of it. Many hamsters run until they have used the last of their energy, then they fall and the wheel swings them upside down until it slowly stops spinning.

For the first time in my adult life, I have lived a full year without an agenda. Without any planning, any appointments or schedules. A year where I challenged myself to surrender completely in the uncertainty of life. And, even without any financial income or money in my bank account, I can say that for so far this has truly been the richest year of my life. 

Uncertainty is magic if you embrace it, 

And hell if you don’t 

Richard Rudd, Gene Key 49

I experience this freedom deeper and deeper, and feel more and more alive. This freedom teaches me the inner growth that lies in taking a pause, doing nothing, and experiencing how much faster and stronger a manifestation can be after that pause. 

With that I also realise more and more that my free spirit, my free human being, does not fit into any wheel anymore. With a lot of respect for everyone who is able to live in those systems, for everyone who uses their energy to change it, shine their light points within it. With a lot of respect for the processes those systems go through, I can not do something else than follow my inner knowing. My inner knowing that tells me that I am here, together with many Brothers and Sisters, to build something new: A free reality. 

A world of abundance

Creating a free reality starts with inner freedom. Becoming conscious of programming and beliefs we learned during our lifetime, to see if they are still valid, if we need to let them go or transform. Just like the collective beliefs and fears I face related to food, the same process I face related to money. By stepping out of the current system I jumped into a field of uncertainty, uncertainty that sometimes brings my body in a state of stress, stress that brings up many fears and underlying beliefs. In the middle of a stress wave I ask myself "Do I need to get back into the system again? Do I need to find an online job to feel the safety of a monthly income?’’ Everytime I ask this question my body gets sick, my throat hurts and my stomach turns around. With these feelings I sit down, feel the signs of my body and ask what it is that I should do. Everytime an inner knowing fills my body, a warm energy whispers in my ears;  

“Your job is much bigger than the current system can capture, 

Your  job is devotional work, 

devotional work which is not comparable with the money plain, 

Have patience, 

Trust that one day support will arrive, 

Support that will help you, all of you, 

To build the reality you already feel inside.“ 

A voice that comforts my fears, relaxes my body and brings excitement in my body. The excitement of my soul, who already knows what's about to come. 

Like the abundance of the hundreds of golden kaki´s in the tree of our front garden, I can see the abundance of money surrounding us. There is more money in the world than we are able to spend. But the fear of not having enough makes the greed in humanity block the energy of money to stream freely to whoever is in need. I feel that healing my inner fears are helping the energy of money to stream more freely without the attachments of fear, greed or power. 

My work is devotional, 

Unconditionally giving my energy and everything I have,

To the creation of a free reality, 

While opening myself to receive unconditionally. 

There will be light

While I visited the Netherlands this summer, I joined a beautiful project of Studio Julian Hetzel, called ‘There will be Light’. A project about life as art and art as work. A project where everybody could participate and only one person would win a basic income of 15.000,-.

In a small theatre they created a beach where in the middle was a square room full of mirrors. Entering the room you could only see yourself, all sides of yourself. While the visitors on the beach were watching you, you had an interview with a homeless person who asked questions about life, hopes and dreams. Every day of the week the homeless people had to choose one person who could join the finals. During the finals they chose one person who received the basic income.

In the video below you can see my pitch during the finals. Unfortunately I did not win, but participating in this project felt like a gift. Like I was receiving a seed that with some water and time will sprout out as a strong and beautiful flower that can spread a basic income to many many others. This experience strengthened my belief that creating a basic income is a part of my path. A part of the freedom I would love to bring into this world. 

Click here to see the movie of 'There will be Light' finals

'There Will Be Light' is a project about the precarious economy of hope. It promotes a radical gesture to question the way we live and how we relate to labour. Today’s societies are defined by work: work to produce value, to have a sense of purpose, to provide status. What would we be if we were not workers? https://therewillbelight.com/